oh now i remember. march. march in the northern climes is like trying to drag a sack of quarters up a steep hill on top of which exists a restaurant which serves the most exquisite food you've ever eaten. except that you're not sure exactly where the restaurant is, and you are beginning to doubt that it even exists.
teaching is getting more brutal now that the "honeymoon" is over. there has been a lot of coming home at 4, getting into bed, and only getting up after staring out the window at the dark with feelings of desperation. i can't say that i'm sure of what i'll do after this summer, but i can't say it might not be this job. and i hate to say it but i think that the only thing really keeping me in the game is that i don't want to be a part of that statistic of the 1 in three teachers who quits after their first year. well, that and my good days. there are good days.
(and also of course the man that is there in good days AND bad days, without whom i would be in godknowswhat kind of state.)
god, what am i doing wrong? it's not the question, though. the only way i'm going to get through this is to pay attention to what i'm doing right, because i'm the one that stands in front of them everyday.
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